Religious organizations are secretly running the world. That’s not news, but the newfound knowledge into how they’re carrying out their agenda is shocking. Certain clandestine churches are battling for the souls of the world…with trans fat!
We recently learned that Muslims are using ice cream to further their radical agenda. But at the heart of the epic struggle are two fast food giants, largely masked in secrecy and odd practices. In-N-Out Burger and Chick-Fil-A, the two titans of doctrinal deep-frying, currently have the market cornered on blasphemous burgers, chaste chicken, and preachy potatoes; and they’re using that in an eternal battle over, well, eternity!
We’ll start with the California-based In-N-Out Burger. A fellow theorist points out, “Anti-Mormon Born Again Christians? Geographic restrictions? Family-only ownership? In-N-Out sounds like the fast food equivalent of the Illuminati or Opus Dei from Da Vinci Code.” You’re tellin’ me. What about their “Secret Menu”? What’s so special about your animal style fries that you have to keep them from the rank and file of society? This equivalent to a special handshake points out that there is a cult-like ‘In’ crowd.
And Chick-Fil-A, what’s your story? You close down on Sunday? The ONE day hard-working Americans are free to eat your food, you’re off somewhere else. If you were a benevolent organization, Christians leaving church wouldn’t have to go to a heathen restaurant, like McDonalds. What’s going on behind your doors that one day every week?
Most startling is the revelation that occurs once they are juxtaposed.
Both companies have three syllable, misspelled, hyphenated names, are family owned, are faith based, are veiled in secrecy, and have specialized menus.
And in those menus lies the key to their differences. Apparently, in the first half of the 20th century, the major religious leaders got together to determine how they could subjugate the people of the world. S. Truett Cathy and Rich Snyder each proposed their sandwich plans to present to the masses. One was chicken and the other was beef.
A global war ensued, and we should be grateful, for if the two sides ever reconcile, they will achieve their greatest dreams, a nation of 700 pound bed-ridden individuals who are forced to watch televangelists. Don’t believe me? An insider leaked me this photo of their god from their secret archives.
Watch what you eat!
We recently learned that Muslims are using ice cream to further their radical agenda. But at the heart of the epic struggle are two fast food giants, largely masked in secrecy and odd practices. In-N-Out Burger and Chick-Fil-A, the two titans of doctrinal deep-frying, currently have the market cornered on blasphemous burgers, chaste chicken, and preachy potatoes; and they’re using that in an eternal battle over, well, eternity!
We’ll start with the California-based In-N-Out Burger. A fellow theorist points out, “Anti-Mormon Born Again Christians? Geographic restrictions? Family-only ownership? In-N-Out sounds like the fast food equivalent of the Illuminati or Opus Dei from Da Vinci Code.” You’re tellin’ me. What about their “Secret Menu”? What’s so special about your animal style fries that you have to keep them from the rank and file of society? This equivalent to a special handshake points out that there is a cult-like ‘In’ crowd.
And Chick-Fil-A, what’s your story? You close down on Sunday? The ONE day hard-working Americans are free to eat your food, you’re off somewhere else. If you were a benevolent organization, Christians leaving church wouldn’t have to go to a heathen restaurant, like McDonalds. What’s going on behind your doors that one day every week?
Most startling is the revelation that occurs once they are juxtaposed.
Both companies have three syllable, misspelled, hyphenated names, are family owned, are faith based, are veiled in secrecy, and have specialized menus.
And in those menus lies the key to their differences. Apparently, in the first half of the 20th century, the major religious leaders got together to determine how they could subjugate the people of the world. S. Truett Cathy and Rich Snyder each proposed their sandwich plans to present to the masses. One was chicken and the other was beef.
A global war ensued, and we should be grateful, for if the two sides ever reconcile, they will achieve their greatest dreams, a nation of 700 pound bed-ridden individuals who are forced to watch televangelists. Don’t believe me? An insider leaked me this photo of their god from their secret archives.
Watch what you eat!
