An unholy alliance grows strong, the likes of which could only occur in the San Francisco Bay Area (or
Corporations no doubt hold more sway over our society than they did 100 years ago. That must be why Obama is jealous of powerful companies and is trying to catch ‘em all like Pokemon (another rant for another day).
But what would happen if two global moneymaking powers combined? How much more strongly could they control the world economy? And what if they found a way to do it without the Government being able to stop them?
Those fears have been realized…
What we’re talking about here is a vile union of two entities which will rock the foundations of our minds.
Steve Jobs and George Lucas have been having a love affair since 1983!
Let’s look at a few facts:
1. After Return of the Jedi in 1983 everything else he’s put out has made it obvious that George Lucas has been *ahem* distracted.
2. Love has a way of clouding business judgments. Lucas sold Pixar to Jobs over twenty years ago = DUMB MOVE. Why did he do it? Supposedly “to pay off his ex-wife.” Seriously? We’re supposed to believe that in 1984 George wasn’t making enough money from Ewok merchandise? Why do you think he got divorced in the first place? His wife probably found a black turtleneck under George’s pillow.
3. The only computer games made for Mac seem to be made by Blizzard (Warcraft, Starcraft, WoW) and LucasArts games (Lego [insert marketable movie franchise here]).
4. My iPhone won’t correct half the words I spell wrong, but it always capitalizes Jedi. (Yeah, I text the word Jedi a lot.)
5. The iPhone is becoming strikingly similar to the Star Wars all-in-one handheld touchscreen device: the datapad.
6. Jobs seems to be dying every other week, yet he always mysteriously comes back. CONCLUSION: George Lucas is either dunking him in a tank of the cure-all solution ‘bacta,’ or he’s got the Kaminoans pumping out clone after clone of Steve.
7. Wait a sec…clone after clone of one man so that he could be more ever-present for his lover…where does that sound familiar? Well, Lucas’ special effects guru for Star Wars—Richard Edlund—left the company in 1983, but he did the special effects cloning of Michael Keaton in Multiplicity! Richard must have taken some secret knowledge from Industrial Light and Magic when he left…
This begs the question…
Why fall in love to consolidate power instead of merging companies (aside from that being how they did it in ancient society)?? Anti-trust laws. The Government won’t knowingly allow that merger, so Steve and George have to be subtle about it. So a whole different kind of ‘partnership’ is the route they chose.
If they’re in love, why not just TIE the knot?? (SW fans, you’re welcome for the pun.) Well, for the time being,
Such creative, odd couple would surely have an unconventional, cutting edge love child. With a history of pioneering computer-generated images…oh my…it’s Jar Jar Binks!
Next week: What this union means for you!
SOURCES:
Why Lucas sold Pixar
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