His Death Was a Sham...Wow!

How could I have been so blind? The passing of so many iconic individuals in the past few months didn’t stir my paranoia…are my senses dulling? I was shocked back into the horrific reality of it all while listening to some of my old CDs, and came across this song:

“The Day Farrah Fawcett Died” by The Vandals.

Here’s an excerpt…

“they say the road was icy
but that just don't add up
a bushy-haired intruder
another government cover up!
a drug-related overdose
a hunting accident
death at the hands of another,
i'll bet!

…they say they come in threes…”

That song was recorded in 1990, almost 20 years before her death! The significance?

“…they say they come in threes…”

Farrah Fawcett died in June 2009, taken by cancer. Michael Jackson and Billy Mays (the Oxy-Clean guy) died around the same time of some sorts of “drug-related overdose.”

Farrah and Michael were essentially out of the biz when their lights faded out, so it’s unlikely that foul play is involved (what would the perpetrator gain?).

Billy Mays still had lots going for him, with plenty of products in the queue for him to pitch to the public…now HE had something to lose…

I think that the Sham-Wow sleazebag Vince Shlomi (his NAME even seems creepy) offed Billy Mays, but knew better than to stop there. He finished off two other completely unrelated celebrities in order to cover his tracks.

Shlomi has had trouble with the law. Several months back he got into a ‘Slap-Chop’ relationship with a prostitute when he broke her ‘no kissing’ rule, she bit his tongue without relent, and her pummeled her until she let go.

The disgraced man needed something to bring him back into the game. His image was tarnished, while Billy Mays still presented the clean-cut façade that America needed in a pitch man. That’s when Shlomi go desperate. This is much more than a triple homicide, it’s a conspiracy!

Vince obviously couldn’t pull something this elaborate off and get away with it; he had help. But who would help him, and what would they stand to gain?

I think the Japanese Government (or the Yakuza) helped Shlomi get away with it so that inventors would be scared to invent new products in the U.S. and they would come to Japan.

They’re probably not going to stop there, either. I think they’re going to send some Anime fighters to kill that cartoon caveman that makes the wheel on T.V.

Any other ideas?

------------

Fellow theorists who leave their (at least half-baked) conspiracies in the comments section during the month of August will be eligible to win a copy of The Little Book of Conspiracies!