Great California Shakedown

Today every Californian is urged to participate in the Great California Shakeout. On the program's website, here's what they claim:

"At 10:15 a.m. on October 15, 2009, millions of Californians will participate in the largest earthquake drill ever!

The purpose of the ShakeOut is to practice how to protect ourselves during earthquakes, and to get prepared at work, school, and home."

Seems simple enough. How do I participate? Individuals are urged to:

"Do a 'hazard hunt'" - this means clear your home of any obstacles, and secure items which may fall.

"Store at least one gallon of water per person, per day, for 3 days and ideally for 2 weeks. What else would you need to be on your own for up to two weeks?" - so you should consolidate foodstuffs, water, and survival items in one easy to grab place.

"Identify your building's weaknesses...Ask a local earthquake retrofitting contractor for a free structural inspection of your home or building" - Hmmm...

And then at 10:15 you're all supposed to do this:

Does this scare anyone else?

You're supposed to clear your house of obstacles, identify it's weaknesses and tell them to a third party, consolidate valuables, then hide at 10:15? I believe the State of California has contracted with retrofitting contractors statewide to ransack your homes all at the same time.

That's the only way they'll be able to balance the budget and return the economy to a state of normalcy. Of course, that means you'll be out several gallons of water and many boxes of Twinkies (and probably a Nintendo DS).

I, for one, will NOT hide under my desk (because I'm already in my bomb shelter quaking).

If you really want to be prepared for catastrophe, watch Zombieland.

Cue Ball is Back!

Not only is NASA accused of blowing up the moon for the sake of werewolf haters, it seems our apprentice theorist (who we’ll call Agent Cue Ball from now on) has uncovered yet another link between NASA and dirty deeds…

“BREAKING NEWS!! For those who have read my recent article exposing the Illuminati and their plan to take over using wind turbines another level of their plan has been discovered. The wind turbines were just the tip of the perpetual ice berg after further investigation I have found that their reach extends far past the eco-friendly populists (we’ll get to that in a minute). They have even infiltrated the agency called NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Mission) which after much investigation I have found out is really a shell company for the Illuminati. The agency’s true name is Need Another Secret Account!

That’s right the organization that “claims” to be researching air and space is actually a giant money laundering scheme. Little by little and much to their frustration the Illuminati begins to be more and more exposed to the public eye. With this they have found a need to secretly hide more of their money. What better way to do it than launder it through the federal government.

They have set up an agency in which they can transfer large amounts of money unbeknownst to the average person, have it cleaned, stored in a secret account and then make withdrawals at will to fund their diabolical plans of world control. After sending their money here it comes out cleaner than it would have it Billy Mays had used Oxy Clean on it.

Now on to the expansion of their wind project. I recently exposed their wind turbine plan but it goes far deeper than that.

As was exposed last week they not only are at work with wind turbines but also laboratories, wind tunnels and control rooms. It is in these control rooms that they hold their secret meetings where they decide who will get the good wind, who gets the bad, and who will get no wind at all. By controlling the wind they are just one step closer to controlling all the elements and with that the entire world.

I was also able to uncover this, the following was taken from NASA’s own website:

‘NASA headquarters, in Washington, provides overall guidance and direction to the agency, under the leadership of the Administrator. Ten field centers and a variety of installations conduct the day-to-day work, in laboratories, on air fields, in wind tunnels and control rooms.’

Here is it plain as day and they don’t even try to hide it! It was once said that if you want to hide something leave it in plain sight, anyone who is looking for it will expect it to be hidden so they will bypass anything that is left out in the open. This is exactly what they are doing. Rather than try to hide and/or bury their sinister plot under layers of bureaucracy, red tape and secret classifications they instead post in on the internet for everyone to see.

To make matters worse they have their head quarters in Washington D.C., our nation’s capitol. They even go as far as to state they it is from here that they receive their overall guidance and direction under the leadership of the “Administrator”. Who is this individual and what “guidance” is being given out? The plot seems to deepen more and more as additional secrets come to light. (No pun intended)

SOURCES: http://www.nasa.gov/about/highlights/what_does_nasa_do.html”

Well done, young one.

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Got a theory? Send it to: conspiracytheorythursday at gmail.com.

Environmentalists: Blowing it for the Rest of Us

Our guest theorist is at it again. His mind has been working hard. I'm so proud of home-grown paranoia. This week he exposes Big Wind for what it is:

"European wind power producers are calling for billions of Euros (dollars) in investments to generate energy from wind turbines planted in the sea.

The European Union is aiming to generate a fifth of all its energy from renewable sources by 2020 to lessen reliance on imported oil and gas and meet climate change goals to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

What they don’t tell you is that the “European Union” is actually part of the secret society of the Illuminati also known as the New World Order. Think about it – wind turbines are triangles, triangles have 3 sides, the symbol of the illuminati is the triangle with the all Seeing Eye in the middle (am I the only one that finds this rather peculiar?). If you look closely at a wind turbine you’ll see an all seeing eye in the middle of each one. Oh they tell you that it’s just a giant cap that is purely cosmetic to cover up a giant screw that holds the turbine together but that’s what they want you to believe. It’s really an electronic eye monitoring the wind cycle and it adjusts the wind turbine as needed for their diabolical purposes.

The face of evil.

While these turbines may create energy from the wind what they are really doing is causing a shift change in the wind patterns. They blow the cool air away and the power that is generated is sent to underground storage heaters that are heating up the west coast. Why the west coast you ask? What better way to take over the United States than to start with California. After all Hollywood is in California and they set the standard for the rest of the country to follow. If Hollywood actors and actresses start leaving California at record paces then the general population is sure to follow.

Years ago Oprah pledged to not eat beef and the beef industry suffered catastrophic losses. Just think what would happen if Hollywood A listers such as Johnny Depp, Justin Timberlake, and Janeane Garofalo sold their homes and headed east. And it has already begun - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have moved to New Orleans. New Orleans, the site of Hurricane Katrina. They would rather fight off alligators and giant misquotes in muggy weather than deal with California’s increasingly hot weather and lack of rain (which by the way is also caused by the wind turbines pushing away rain clouds so the local water companies can raise their already exorbitant high rates. That’s a different CTT report though to come at a later time).

I urge you my fellow Americans; don’t give in to the lies of the Europeans who are secretly trying to take over our country state by state. If you read my last story on "Go Green – Recycled Aluminum Foil" you will know that that we are under an attack by these so called Environmentalists who are really money hungry capitalist pigs who do not want a greener Earth but greener pockets along with total global control of each and every individual on the planet!

While I don’t by no means agree with the prices being charged by Pacific Gas and Extortion (also known as PG&E) I emphatically urge you not to support the Europeans and their dastardly plot of California warming.

SOURCE:

http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D9AMMNPG0.htm"

Well done, grasshopper. For those of you a little frightened, I believe I've found our hero in the battle against wind turbines. Check it out here: http://xkcd.com/556/

At Risk: Our Last Line of Defense

A fellow theorist from the underground has submitted his thoughts to the masses.

"The government wants you to go green because it’s better for the environment but what they don’t tell you is that it’s also better for them. Everything seems to be recycled nowadays, everything from cardboard and newspapers to bottles, can and aluminum foil. Wait, did you just say aluminum foil?! That’s right the only weapon available to stop the opposing forces from scanning the inside of your homes, mind and body is now being made from recycled material!

What does that mean in the fight against crime, the fight to maintain your privacy, your personal thoughts and PIN number for your ATM card? I’ll tell you what it means – it means that they have finally infiltrated our defense system. Oh they claim that it’s just as good as the original but let’s take a look at look at what they actually have to say about it.

Is Reynolds Wrap® Foil from 100% Recycled Aluminum safe to use?

Aluminum foil made from recycled aluminum is as clean and safe to use as foil made from new, also referred to as virgin, aluminum. The process of melting down the recycled aluminum requires heating the metal to more than 1200°F, which burns off any debris in the metal. Once it turns into a molten liquid, the aluminum is sent through a filtration process, poured and rolled into thin sheets.

Did you read the same thing that I just did? During the process the metal is heated to more than 1200 degrees Fahrenheit which burns off any debris in the metal. What they neglect to tell you is that it also alters the molecular structure of the aluminum foil so that their hi-tech radar can now be used against us! You may as well be lining your house and hats with saran wrap because they are going to see everything anyway. With the molecular structure altered the aluminum foil still has that nice shiny look but that’s all it has. It’s defensive properties have been stripped away like a stripper with a g-string. You may think that you are covered but you are really baring it all for everyone to see.

Go green is really code for “We have finally broken your defenses and you will be assimilated, resistance is futile. Do as Public Enemy once said and “Don’t believe the hype!” Flavor Flav knew all along that is why he plated his teeth and wore that protective gear (clocks), he was keeping himself safe from the rays. Everyone laughed and called him crazy yet it is he who is having the last laugh.

So I tell you don’t go green on recycled aluminum foil, insist on the original, it’s the only way to ensure your safety and freedom of having free will."

That sounds scary. Worst of all is the fact that Flavor-Flav figured it out and we didn't! Maybe he knows something. Is he in on it? We all know that Jay-Z is in the Illuminati, so perhaps multi-generational hip-hop 'artists' are onto something, or up to something...

SOURCES:

A crazy theorist.

CTT Special: Conspiracy Feary Friday

It may be tough to swallow, but on the eighth anniversary of 9/11, Charlie Sheen is chomping at the bit to have a new investigation into the events of September 11th. He claims to have plenty of proof that it was an inside job, and you can read it at the link below.

I personally think a more seasoned conspiracy theorist should have taken up the mantle and champion this cause, like me. Besides, Charlie's ex (Denise Richards) says he's way to coked out of his mind, and actually divorced him partially on the grounds of his 9/11 conspiracy theory.

Regardless, check out the mock interview with Barack Obama.

SOURCE:

20 Minutes with the President
Charlie Sheen Demands Obama's Attention

Direct Attack on CTT!

I sent a beacon out earlier, and am now able to follow up. CTT is under direct attack. Someone knows how I'm getting my message out and they're attempting to silence me. I tried logging on this morning and the computer just presented a black screen with a white cursor, then the monitor said "No signal."

It's no coincidence that this happened on a Thursday morning! I had to trudge through the depressed sprawl to get to another computer that works in order to inform you all to BEWARE! Followers, change your profile pictures and make sure your names don't give you away.

Even more ominous is the fact that minutes after this happened and I told a friend who works at an IT helpdesk, that friend sent me this message:

"I have a ticket in which the issue description reads, "Machine is getting to the boot menu and then it just stops, goes black, and monitor says, "No Signal."

As I sit in my secure bunker, broadcasting this out, I can't help but think the Government is out to get me. Ever since I severed all ties with the US Air Force, odd things like this have been happening. I left them around the time they started a Cyber Command, surely with covert missions to silence those of us who question the status quo in their society.

According to the Air Force Times, "Cyber Command is meant to coordinate computer network defense and, more controversially, offensive attacks on enemy networks. The goal, according to senior officials, is to be able to take control of adversary computer networks to thwart attacks or otherwise influence their behavior— either with or without that adversary realizing it."

On August 12, 2008, I separated from the Air Force. On the very next day, look what was in the news:

"The Pentagon this week delayed and may kill the Air Force’s nascent Cyber Command, according to a memo obtained by the Associated Press. This comes as Russia used a major computer network attack to begin its assault on Georgia."

But Cyber Command is alive and kicking, faithful. So what were they doing that day that gave everyone the impression they were standing down? They were poising themselves for an attack against ME! AP Reporters likely saw airmen cleaning out their desks and moving computers into trucks, and THOUGHT they were standing down, but in reality they were just relocated to an even MORE secret location.

I think this secret location is a potato field in Idaho...and I will be gathering information about this.

Nevertheless, you can't keep me down, Feds!

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By the way, congratulations to mothergoose for winning the August contest. You are the proud recipient of a copy of The Little Book of Conspiracies.

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SOURCES:

Air Force Times
Ominous Text Message

Survival of the Vilest

Science is under attack! And you’ll be surprised to learn the group trying to bring it down…and why.

Modern scientific experiments are based on the metric system of measurement. (So is socialism, I think, but that’s another theory for another Thursday). The basis of this system of measurement is found in one tiny measuring cup of sorts. But the cup upon which the scientific method rests is crumbling, and with it: the foundations of our understanding of reality.

“The official kilogram -- a cylinder cast 118 years ago from platinum and iridium and known as the International Prototype Kilogram or "Le Gran K" -- has been losing mass, about 50 micrograms at last check.”

I have reason to believe that evolutionists are the ones destroying science!

Why do evolutionists hate science? What pitted these rivals against each other? I thought it was Ben Stein, but it appears there’s a broad outcry claiming that evolutionism isn’t scientific at all. Check out these quotes to that effect (if you read the full text you’ll learn these naysayers aren’t even creationists):

“No hypothesis that attempts to explain the origins and diversification of life can be testable or repeatable.”

“The actual facts—as opposed to the wishful thinking of evolutionists—show that to support evolution scientists must circumvent both the scientific method and the definition of a scientific fact…A theory is an explanation that accounts for all the facts observed; a theory, ultimately, must survive repeated tests and rigorous study. A theory must also be falsifiable, meaning that the scientist can collect and test evidence to determine the accuracy or fallacy of his theory. A fact should also be repeatable. Evolution cannot be falsified, observed, tested, or repeated…The fact is, evolution qualifies as science no better than intelligent design.”

Meaning, there is no way to know—through science alone—the origin of our world and its species. You have to have some form of faith to accept any of the theories.

So if science and evolutionism are bitter enemies, what’s the best way to reconcile them? A nationally televised sit-down over a beer? No, how about changing the other side by changing its foundations?

Now that the evolutionists have somehow destroyed the kilogram, they get to redefine the kilogram, redefine the scientific method, and subsequently make their theories actual “scientific fact”! Check it out:

"Now, two U.S. professors -- a physicist and mathematician -- say it's time to define the kilogram in a new and more elegant way that will be the same today, tomorrow and 118 years from now. They've launched a campaign aimed at redefining the kilogram…”

The only piece missing out of this theory is the how. How are they doing it?! Antimatter? Mind powers? Reversing the polarity?

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SOURCES

Kilogram Losing Mass

Evolution Conspiracy