Zombie Shakespeare?

William Shakespeare is immortal. And we’re not talking ‘he lives on through his works.’ We don’t have proof that this guy ever died, only existence that he existed.


“Shakespeare's grave does not have a body. In 1796, the
grave was broken into, in the course of digging another grave in
proximity. (Personally, I can't believe the activity was unrelated to
the Ireland forgeries and the search for Shakespeare's foul papers.) In
any case, they, the gravediggers, found nothing, damp and the local Avon
having in all likelihood carried the bones away.” Of course, there are detractors. “I once (don't know where, don't know by whom) read a compelling argument that, Avon water tables and human decomposition rates considered, the minimal, dusty remains of W.S. were washed along the Bristol Channel and out into the Atlantic a couple of centuries ago. Perhaps American Scientists could check tidal currents and start sifting all the beaches on the US eastern seaboard for nano-traces of Bard instead?”

Wait a sec, was that last comment written in iambic pentameter? Makes sense. If that’s Willie then he’s a genious. By suggesting that scientists comb the beaches for his body, he’s kept us busy looking for him for another couple centuries. Another thing we can conclude by this comment is that if Shakespeare wrote it, we have some clue as to his undead form. Zombies can’t type.


"Most dear actors, eat no onions nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath." - William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream


Vampire!?!


Perhaps this theorist has a clue as to Willie’s undead form.


"William Shakespeare was [supposedly] called upon to add his artistic touch to the English translation of the Bible done at the behest of King James, which was finished in 1611. As proof for this idea, proponents point to Psalm 46, and allege that Shakespeare slipped his name into the text. Here is how the story goes. Since Shakespeare was born in the year 1564, then he would have been 46 years old during 1610 when the finishing touches were being put on the KJV. In the King James Version, if you count down 46 words from the top (not counting the title) you read the word "shake," then, if you omit the word "selah" and count 46 words from the bottom you find the word "spear." Voilà! Shakespeare must have tinkered with the text and subtly added his signature. How else could one account for all of these 46s to work out so well? To top it all off, William Shakespeare is an anagram of "Here was I, like a psalm."


Maybe he DOES live on in his works…


That would explain why this manifestation of Shakespeare looks oddly like another immortal figure who likes to …food for thought.





"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
- William Shakespeare, Hamlet.


http://www.shaksper.net/archives/2005/1829.html
http://zombiepataphysics.blogspot.com/2007/09/shakespeares-face-revealed-in-badly.html
http://www.ealasaid.com/quotes/vampires.html
http://woodside.blogs.com/cosmologycuriosity/2007/07/off-topic-shake.html