Z2K

We should have seen it coming. It’s all been a big cover up. First Y2K. Remember? They made us think computers couldn’t handle the transition to the year 2000 and would crash. Some think the conspiracy was from software companies who wanted us to buy new software and upgrades.

Y2K was only a foreshadowing of the massive evil that has been unleashed upon us. And most people don’t even know it is happening. (Retraction: in 1999 I thought Y2K was an Amish plot. They planned to strike us when we lost our technology and were on the same playing field as them, us confused with how to drive a team of horses or plow a field without robots. I think I was so vocal about this conspiracy that standup comedians used the material. Go me!)

Others have been hinting at Apple’s desire to take over the world via the iPod. They claim that the Mac’s ties to China (ok it’s just manufactured there) and the ubiquity of the digital media players are all a ploy to get devices into everyone’s hands so the governments can control us.

"Lucy Shaw, a social worker in New York, has stopped using Shuffle altogether. 'It was totally not reading my moods,' she said. It would play upbeat music when she was feeling low, and dark, somber selections when she was feeling upbeat. Furthermore, she said, her device had a penchant for picking songs containing four minutes of dead air followed by a bonus track - like Roxy Music’s 'More Than This'."

But it goes beyond even THAT! I’m talking big, folks.

They’ve had us looking the wrong way all along. 2000 wasn’t the year of technological meltdown and horror. It’s 2009! The lack of turmoil following Y2K made us think the worst was past us, that no numerical date could ever disable us again. Apple’s omnipresence made us think their mp3 player posed the only threat. We were WRONG!

It seems Z2K’s hammer of terror has fallen upon us all. As the New Year turned across the world, Microsoft Zune’s locked up at the same time. When things happen at the same time, someone evil is behind it. Who? Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are too easy of marks. Steve is too busy subjugating some third world country and Gates is finishing his assimilation to the Borg. That’s another theory for another Thursday.

Sit tight! It’s only a matter of time until infrastructure crumbles, the markets crash, and brother is pitted against brother in a worldwide civil war, as literally dozens of Zune owners can’t listen to their tunes.


SOURCES
http://mobhappy.com/blog1/2004/08/30/the-great-ipod-conspiracy/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28449091/