Unless you’re of the Colbert faithful, or you are too lazy to change the radio dial when NPR starts shaking their cup for donations, you’re likely unfamiliar with the company Monsanto. They’re a diabolical corporate cabal capable of genetically altering plant life. I think they can make corn chips out of stonewashed denim or whatever.
The organic foods underground is committed to ridding the world of Monsanto and its competitors because they’re jealous hippie agriculture can’t feed an African village with a single soybean or something.
Hence the release of eye-opening book Seeds of Deception. Surely you’ve heard of it. Oh…uhhh…you haven’t heard of it? Surprising.
Well, here’s what Ben Cohen (of Ben and Jerry's) says of the film, "Outrageous! That's what you'll say over and over again when you read how the biotechnology companies have manipulated the government, our food, and the media, and put an entire generation at risk."
Yeah, that’s right; Ben and Jerry’s co-founder is apparently a spokesman for health food.
Anyway, here are some other words used to describe the gravity of the film: “This powerful exposé could spark the revolution that this topic deserves…, you will never see your country the same way again… somewhere between a documentary and a thriller… this book could save your life…... If you care about the future of life on this dear planet... this is the book to get.”
I, however, have a sneaking suspicion that Monsanto is behind this anti-Monsanto movement, to their own gain. Why?
Firstly, if this movement were a legitimate threat, Monsanto would unleash Cobzilla all over them. (pronounced Cob-zheerah in Japan)
The organic foods underground is committed to ridding the world of Monsanto and its competitors because they’re jealous hippie agriculture can’t feed an African village with a single soybean or something.
Hence the release of eye-opening book Seeds of Deception. Surely you’ve heard of it. Oh…uhhh…you haven’t heard of it? Surprising.
Well, here’s what Ben Cohen (of Ben and Jerry's) says of the film, "Outrageous! That's what you'll say over and over again when you read how the biotechnology companies have manipulated the government, our food, and the media, and put an entire generation at risk."
Yeah, that’s right; Ben and Jerry’s co-founder is apparently a spokesman for health food.
Anyway, here are some other words used to describe the gravity of the film: “This powerful exposé could spark the revolution that this topic deserves…, you will never see your country the same way again… somewhere between a documentary and a thriller… this book could save your life…... If you care about the future of life on this dear planet... this is the book to get.”
I, however, have a sneaking suspicion that Monsanto is behind this anti-Monsanto movement, to their own gain. Why?
Firstly, if this movement were a legitimate threat, Monsanto would unleash Cobzilla all over them. (pronounced Cob-zheerah in Japan)
*Not actual size.
Also, if the corporation’s image is untarnished, it stays out of the media. They’re taking a play from twenty-something female celebrities playbook, which is something like, “It’s better to be trashy and badmouthed than have integrity and go unnoticed.” Monsanto is willing to be the bad boy to stay relevant to Americans. As their nefarious plot unfolds, expect to see Monsanto execs allow panty-less crotch pictures, ‘accidentally’ badmouth minorities on camera, and kiss girls and like it.
But mainly, the company sees exposing its vile killing power as a means to achieving more market share. How can this be? Wouldn’t exposing an evil megacorp’s deepest, darkest secrets (which include virtually poisoning humanity worldwide) bring it to its knees?
Super Size Me garnered similar reviews: “disgusting, shocking, and overall scary...” And McDonalds barely blinked. The munchy megacorp has continued to grow at alarming rates. In fact, Super Size Me inspired so many copy cats who went on 30-day Micky D’s binges, that one could argue that the exposé was the best thing to happen to them since all white meat nuggets.
So, this is a conspiracy wrapped in a cover up, without a real cover up at all, except the covering up of the fact that the real conspiracy is the creation of a fake conspiracy. My brain hurts…
Ball pit!
*Editor’s note: I ate an Extra Value Meal while watching Super Size Me.
SOURCES:
http://www.seedsofdeception.com/Public/Home/index.cfm
* not actual size
ReplyDeleteMothergoose agrees.
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ReplyDeleteYou, sir, are missing the real story here. The all white meat mcnugget is an abomination. It is proof that McDonalds is run by white supremacists. The dark meat mcnuggets were more tender and flavorful. They were so delicious that they didn't even need any sauce. McDonalds was afraid that people would wake up and see the truth. They certainly did not want people to prefer the "dark meat". From the beginning the dark mcnugget was relegated to the status of second rate fast food citizen. Minority status was dictated from the 6 piece all the way through to the 20 piece. During this time, McDonalds engaged in a propaganda smear campaign against the dark mcnugget. Of course, it was never put forth as "anti-dark meat". No, the fast food propagandists campaigned on the, much more positive sounding, platform of "pro-white meat". Apparently, this diabolical plan worked. Not only did nobody protest, but people actually celebrated the successful culmination of this mcnugget ethnic cleansing with the announcement that McDonalds mcnuggets were now 100% white meat. Super Size Me was an inside job. It was a ruse designed to draw attention away from the real tragedy. Hitler would be proud.
ReplyDeleteRIP delicious mcnuggets.
I heard the cripple said he posted something hilarious. I show up and there is nothing. I think you really wore a Jer suit today and told me visit your site. I sense a conspiracy within a conspiracy...
ReplyDelete[Seriously] Nice post today.
LOL, so, I go and talk to you in the Jer suit and "he" says his comment is here. I return to the site...and now it is back. Hmmmm, you are clever sir...
ReplyDelete