Thursday, February 4, 2010

Hugo, Why You Gotta Be So Haiti?

Let's all welcome Hugo Chavez to the list of most famous Conspiracy Theorists. He recently blamed the U.S. Government for the earthquake in Haiti, claiming that the Navy launched a tectonic weapon. He states that this was only a test, and that once the weapon is refined, Iran will be the ultimate target.

This wouldn't be the first time in the past year that a Government blamed another for some quasi-natural phenomenon. Remember when the swirling lights in the air above Switzerland were purported as being a Russian missile test?

What about when the country Georgia blamed Russia for one of its earthquakes?

This futuristic weaponry isn't going where I'd hoped. I mean, where's the space station the size of a moon that can destroy entire planets? Rattling the earth's crust in the third world is a bit lackluster.

I hope Hollywood picks this up and runs with it. Imagine the trailer - "In a world where the very ground fears the military, only one overweight dictator has the cajones to stand up to an evil government. Horatio Sanz is Hugo Chavez in Tectonic Warfare: The Day the Earth Stopped Standing Still."

Another theory is that Haiti was being punished for a pact with the Devil that they used to secure independence. If that's the case, I recommend you find out if any 1970s rock stars live near you, and move away, because you may be the next collateral damage to an untimely smiting.

SOURCES:
Real Clear Politics

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