New Moon Over Moldova

Vampire fever has officially spread to eastern Europe.

Literally.

"Moldova's army is feeding its soldiers onions and garlic to help them ward off swine flu."

Garlic? Eastern Europe? Paranoia? All on the day Twilight: New Moon opens? This sounds too good to be true, and too good to be swine flu.

"Onion and garlic are traditional remedies in Moldova where they are widely believed to boost the immune system."

"Immunity to what?" we should be asking ourselves.

Last I checked, it's less than 150 miles from Transylvania to the Moldova border. Those Moldovans know something we don't! What's going to happen at midnight after the previews finish?

More importantly, what is the US Government doing to protect us? It seems they've once again taken a page from fantasy's playbook.

Just south of Chicago, "Red Gate Woods was a legally protected area for preservation purposes...[until] the US needed a place to secretly research the effects of radiation on animals while building an atomic bomb."

Uh huuuuuh...

"These areas contained...dog kennels..."

Dogs + Radiation = Awesome. Go on...

"According to legend, a young couple, with their newborn baby, were involved in a fatal accident sometime during the 1950’s... in the area. The accident took the lives of the couple, but the baby was thrown clear from the car, and never found.

Yeeeessssss...

"This child was then raised by local wildlife, and he grew a thin coat of grey hair over his entire body…as you’d expect a wolf-boy to do."

Bingo! We have the answer! The US Government probably stole werewolf breeding concepts from the Native Americans over a century ago, but lacked the shamanistic magic to make it happen...until nuclear fission! I think you can substitute radiation for all sorts of things these days; it's like the Splenda of supernatural phenomena.

So rest safe, America. You're in good hands. The US probably has entire units of werewolf soldiers now. And if for some reason the US military hasn't gotten enough research on wolfmen yet, they certainly will after interrogating this dude.

SOURCES:

Soldiers Given Garlic

Chicago Wolfboy

I Believe, Milla!

Milla Jovovich took some time off from killing zombies to investigate spacemen (good thing Woody Harrellson stepped up to pick up the undead-killing slack). In The Fourth Kind, she portrays a woman faced with alien abductions (including her own).

Driving home from seeing it at the theater, I found my eyes glued to the skies. "Take meeeeeeeeeeeee!" I thought.

The movie's power is the use of actual footage, spliced with actors. Immediately after it's release critics, bloggers, and morons started attacking the validity of the actual footage, claiming it was all fake.

That's what the aliens, the Government, and Roger Ebert want you to think! They're all in on it.

Ebert says: "Boy, is the Nome, Alaska, Chamber of Commerce going to be pissed off when it sees "The Fourth Kind." You don't wanna go there."

Oh really, good sir? Why are you so worried about some town government?

I'm not saying Roger Ebert is an alien, but maybe he's a Fed. Think about it. Running around telling everyone what movies to see (translated: what movies further Obama's socialist agenda), and what movies are total crap (i.e., what movies share the truth OR movies that are actually total crap).

Anyway, back to the cover up regarding The Fourth Kind. So what if the writer/director is the guy interviewing the 'real' Dr. Tyler in a 'real' interview. So what if no one, not even the law enforcement officials of Nome, corroborates the stories? Answer me this:

How did that dude levitate out of his bed?

And how did the footage get so grainy any time something important actually happened?

Ok, I think I'm not helping my case anymore.

But I'm pretty sure Hollywood is preparing us for something big. Go watch the pilot episode of 'V'. Even Darth Popatine is on board.

SOURCE:

http://io9.com/5399895/fourth-kind-insider-yes-it-was-totally-fake

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091104/REVIEWS/911059996

Conspiracy Feary Friday: Aisle Seven, Bulk Clergy

"In a move that could help bring hundreds of thousands of Anglicans into the Catholic Church"..."Pope Benedict XVI has established a special structure for Anglicans who want to be in full communion with the Roman Catholic Church while preserving aspects of their Anglican spiritual and liturgical heritage"

For laymen who haven't been up on the news in the past week, the Anglican Church (of England) has allowed gays and women priests to ascend to bishopdom (bishophood? bishopanity?), upsetting more than a few conservative Anglicans. So the Catholic church decided it would offer those Anglicans a spot in the Catholic church. Priests can stay married, and can still do most of the Anglicanny goodness they love.

The Catholics has been trying to boost it's numbers for years. I mean, what do you think their whole anti-contraception deal is? When one of your followers produces 16 offspring, you're bound to retain a few of 'em in your ranks. You keep that going on multiple continents for hundreds of years, and you're set! (It's even better than the vampire pyramid scheme!) Why do you think the website CatholicMatch.com exists?

So we should have seen it coming when the Catholics went shopping for new priests. What does this mean?

What else could it mean? Be afraid. Be very afraid. They're bringing us one step closer to a One World Government, and they're doing it just like a corporation: by marketing to target segments.

Expect to see a direct mail marketing campaign from the Catholics. Coupons like this: "Get your loved ones out of purgatory! This weekend only: Two-for-one prayers for your deceased family members!"

And the youth are being targeted by hip cool rapping priests, like this one at the Franciscan University (FU) in Steubenville, OH.



(I'm ashamed to say I used to frequent this campus).

Sure, this all seems innocuous. It probably doesn't strike you as dangerous. And it may not be enough for you to believe that the Roman Catholic Church is evil and bent on being an evil one-world church. But think about it...

Didn't it ever strike you as odd that you never saw Pope Benedict XVI and Darth Sidious at the same time? I mean, they look very similar.

Behold...

EMPEROR POPATINE!



SOURCES:

Catholic News

More Catholic News
Photo: Palpatine vs Benedict

Great California Shakedown

Today every Californian is urged to participate in the Great California Shakeout. On the program's website, here's what they claim:

"At 10:15 a.m. on October 15, 2009, millions of Californians will participate in the largest earthquake drill ever!

The purpose of the ShakeOut is to practice how to protect ourselves during earthquakes, and to get prepared at work, school, and home."

Seems simple enough. How do I participate? Individuals are urged to:

"Do a 'hazard hunt'" - this means clear your home of any obstacles, and secure items which may fall.

"Store at least one gallon of water per person, per day, for 3 days and ideally for 2 weeks. What else would you need to be on your own for up to two weeks?" - so you should consolidate foodstuffs, water, and survival items in one easy to grab place.

"Identify your building's weaknesses...Ask a local earthquake retrofitting contractor for a free structural inspection of your home or building" - Hmmm...

And then at 10:15 you're all supposed to do this:

Does this scare anyone else?

You're supposed to clear your house of obstacles, identify it's weaknesses and tell them to a third party, consolidate valuables, then hide at 10:15? I believe the State of California has contracted with retrofitting contractors statewide to ransack your homes all at the same time.

That's the only way they'll be able to balance the budget and return the economy to a state of normalcy. Of course, that means you'll be out several gallons of water and many boxes of Twinkies (and probably a Nintendo DS).

I, for one, will NOT hide under my desk (because I'm already in my bomb shelter quaking).

If you really want to be prepared for catastrophe, watch Zombieland.

Cue Ball is Back!

Not only is NASA accused of blowing up the moon for the sake of werewolf haters, it seems our apprentice theorist (who we’ll call Agent Cue Ball from now on) has uncovered yet another link between NASA and dirty deeds…

“BREAKING NEWS!! For those who have read my recent article exposing the Illuminati and their plan to take over using wind turbines another level of their plan has been discovered. The wind turbines were just the tip of the perpetual ice berg after further investigation I have found that their reach extends far past the eco-friendly populists (we’ll get to that in a minute). They have even infiltrated the agency called NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Mission) which after much investigation I have found out is really a shell company for the Illuminati. The agency’s true name is Need Another Secret Account!

That’s right the organization that “claims” to be researching air and space is actually a giant money laundering scheme. Little by little and much to their frustration the Illuminati begins to be more and more exposed to the public eye. With this they have found a need to secretly hide more of their money. What better way to do it than launder it through the federal government.

They have set up an agency in which they can transfer large amounts of money unbeknownst to the average person, have it cleaned, stored in a secret account and then make withdrawals at will to fund their diabolical plans of world control. After sending their money here it comes out cleaner than it would have it Billy Mays had used Oxy Clean on it.

Now on to the expansion of their wind project. I recently exposed their wind turbine plan but it goes far deeper than that.

As was exposed last week they not only are at work with wind turbines but also laboratories, wind tunnels and control rooms. It is in these control rooms that they hold their secret meetings where they decide who will get the good wind, who gets the bad, and who will get no wind at all. By controlling the wind they are just one step closer to controlling all the elements and with that the entire world.

I was also able to uncover this, the following was taken from NASA’s own website:

‘NASA headquarters, in Washington, provides overall guidance and direction to the agency, under the leadership of the Administrator. Ten field centers and a variety of installations conduct the day-to-day work, in laboratories, on air fields, in wind tunnels and control rooms.’

Here is it plain as day and they don’t even try to hide it! It was once said that if you want to hide something leave it in plain sight, anyone who is looking for it will expect it to be hidden so they will bypass anything that is left out in the open. This is exactly what they are doing. Rather than try to hide and/or bury their sinister plot under layers of bureaucracy, red tape and secret classifications they instead post in on the internet for everyone to see.

To make matters worse they have their head quarters in Washington D.C., our nation’s capitol. They even go as far as to state they it is from here that they receive their overall guidance and direction under the leadership of the “Administrator”. Who is this individual and what “guidance” is being given out? The plot seems to deepen more and more as additional secrets come to light. (No pun intended)

SOURCES: http://www.nasa.gov/about/highlights/what_does_nasa_do.html”

Well done, young one.

------

Got a theory? Send it to: conspiracytheorythursday at gmail.com.

Environmentalists: Blowing it for the Rest of Us

Our guest theorist is at it again. His mind has been working hard. I'm so proud of home-grown paranoia. This week he exposes Big Wind for what it is:

"European wind power producers are calling for billions of Euros (dollars) in investments to generate energy from wind turbines planted in the sea.

The European Union is aiming to generate a fifth of all its energy from renewable sources by 2020 to lessen reliance on imported oil and gas and meet climate change goals to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

What they don’t tell you is that the “European Union” is actually part of the secret society of the Illuminati also known as the New World Order. Think about it – wind turbines are triangles, triangles have 3 sides, the symbol of the illuminati is the triangle with the all Seeing Eye in the middle (am I the only one that finds this rather peculiar?). If you look closely at a wind turbine you’ll see an all seeing eye in the middle of each one. Oh they tell you that it’s just a giant cap that is purely cosmetic to cover up a giant screw that holds the turbine together but that’s what they want you to believe. It’s really an electronic eye monitoring the wind cycle and it adjusts the wind turbine as needed for their diabolical purposes.

The face of evil.

While these turbines may create energy from the wind what they are really doing is causing a shift change in the wind patterns. They blow the cool air away and the power that is generated is sent to underground storage heaters that are heating up the west coast. Why the west coast you ask? What better way to take over the United States than to start with California. After all Hollywood is in California and they set the standard for the rest of the country to follow. If Hollywood actors and actresses start leaving California at record paces then the general population is sure to follow.

Years ago Oprah pledged to not eat beef and the beef industry suffered catastrophic losses. Just think what would happen if Hollywood A listers such as Johnny Depp, Justin Timberlake, and Janeane Garofalo sold their homes and headed east. And it has already begun - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have moved to New Orleans. New Orleans, the site of Hurricane Katrina. They would rather fight off alligators and giant misquotes in muggy weather than deal with California’s increasingly hot weather and lack of rain (which by the way is also caused by the wind turbines pushing away rain clouds so the local water companies can raise their already exorbitant high rates. That’s a different CTT report though to come at a later time).

I urge you my fellow Americans; don’t give in to the lies of the Europeans who are secretly trying to take over our country state by state. If you read my last story on "Go Green – Recycled Aluminum Foil" you will know that that we are under an attack by these so called Environmentalists who are really money hungry capitalist pigs who do not want a greener Earth but greener pockets along with total global control of each and every individual on the planet!

While I don’t by no means agree with the prices being charged by Pacific Gas and Extortion (also known as PG&E) I emphatically urge you not to support the Europeans and their dastardly plot of California warming.

SOURCE:

http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D9AMMNPG0.htm"

Well done, grasshopper. For those of you a little frightened, I believe I've found our hero in the battle against wind turbines. Check it out here: http://xkcd.com/556/

At Risk: Our Last Line of Defense

A fellow theorist from the underground has submitted his thoughts to the masses.

"The government wants you to go green because it’s better for the environment but what they don’t tell you is that it’s also better for them. Everything seems to be recycled nowadays, everything from cardboard and newspapers to bottles, can and aluminum foil. Wait, did you just say aluminum foil?! That’s right the only weapon available to stop the opposing forces from scanning the inside of your homes, mind and body is now being made from recycled material!

What does that mean in the fight against crime, the fight to maintain your privacy, your personal thoughts and PIN number for your ATM card? I’ll tell you what it means – it means that they have finally infiltrated our defense system. Oh they claim that it’s just as good as the original but let’s take a look at look at what they actually have to say about it.

Is Reynolds Wrap® Foil from 100% Recycled Aluminum safe to use?

Aluminum foil made from recycled aluminum is as clean and safe to use as foil made from new, also referred to as virgin, aluminum. The process of melting down the recycled aluminum requires heating the metal to more than 1200°F, which burns off any debris in the metal. Once it turns into a molten liquid, the aluminum is sent through a filtration process, poured and rolled into thin sheets.

Did you read the same thing that I just did? During the process the metal is heated to more than 1200 degrees Fahrenheit which burns off any debris in the metal. What they neglect to tell you is that it also alters the molecular structure of the aluminum foil so that their hi-tech radar can now be used against us! You may as well be lining your house and hats with saran wrap because they are going to see everything anyway. With the molecular structure altered the aluminum foil still has that nice shiny look but that’s all it has. It’s defensive properties have been stripped away like a stripper with a g-string. You may think that you are covered but you are really baring it all for everyone to see.

Go green is really code for “We have finally broken your defenses and you will be assimilated, resistance is futile. Do as Public Enemy once said and “Don’t believe the hype!” Flavor Flav knew all along that is why he plated his teeth and wore that protective gear (clocks), he was keeping himself safe from the rays. Everyone laughed and called him crazy yet it is he who is having the last laugh.

So I tell you don’t go green on recycled aluminum foil, insist on the original, it’s the only way to ensure your safety and freedom of having free will."

That sounds scary. Worst of all is the fact that Flavor-Flav figured it out and we didn't! Maybe he knows something. Is he in on it? We all know that Jay-Z is in the Illuminati, so perhaps multi-generational hip-hop 'artists' are onto something, or up to something...

SOURCES:

A crazy theorist.